"Light it up Blue"

April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day. It is a cause that is VERY dear to my heart. You can read this post from last year. It was interesting for me to go back and read how I felt a year ago. There are many things from that post that are still the same. I still have the "why me" moments. They are few and far between now but they are still there all the same. I have found that they are usually related to certain events. A few weeks ago I had a tough few days. It was Kindergarten round up and I "should" have been signing Ronan up for Kindergarten. But I wasn't. The pity party started, after the pity party comes the feelings of guilt. The guilt for wishing that he was different, that he didn't have Autism. I wouldn't trade Ronan for anything in the world and without all of his little quirks he wouldn't be my Ronan, however there are still times when I wish that I could "make it all better". When I wish that simple, everyday tasks didn't have to be so hard for him. Not for me, for him! There are days when my heart just breaks as I watch him struggle to communicate his needs and feelings.
Ronan has come such a long way in the past year. He is able to communicate now. He is getting better at being able to express his wants, needs and feelings. The meltdowns are less frequent. The behaviours are better. He is such a blessing to our family. I love to hear his sweet laugh. To see him playing with his brothers and sister in a way he never has before. Most of all I love to hear his sweet voice. To hear him say "I love you Mom" or call his brothers name makes my heart just burst with pride. He is such a determined little boy and I know that determination will take him a long way.
Living with a child or family member with Autism isn't easy. Just ask anyone who is blessed to do so. One of the hardest things for me personally, is the misunderstanding and judgement of others. There are many times that I am told by people that Ronan doesn't "look like he has Autism". Because of that I am often judged as an incompetent mother who gives in to her child's every whim and Ronan is judged as a naughty child who just needs a spanking. I actually had a lady in Walmart say to me "Give me an hour with that child and after a good spanking I would have him straightened out."
People with Autism don't want sympathy, they just want understanding. I don't want people to feel sorry for my Ronan, I just want them to accept him and understand that occasionally he may have a meltdown or scream, but it is mostly beyond his control. He isn't trying to be naughty or cause a scene. He is over-whelmed, over stimulated and doesn't have any other means to express his feelings.
Autism Speaks is running a campaign this month to increase awareness. So many people have no idea what Autism really is. To help raise awareness, the Empire State building, the Sears tower, Fenway Park and many other prominent buildings and places will be lit up blue on the night of April 1st. My family, along with many others, will be wearing blue and changing our outside lights to blue light bulbs. Autism now affects 1 in 110 children, 1 in 70 boys. The odds are rising. With odds like that, surely everyone is lucky enough to be loved by someone with Autism.



In our house that unconditional love comes from a sweet brown eyed boy. We love you Ronan.

Better late than never!!

I know I haven't blogged in forever! Life is crazy busy but we are all doing well. The kids are growing up way too fast and it is going to be summer before we know it. Because I want to one day have this blog made into a book I am going to do a quick recap of the holidays from the past few months and throw in a few photos.

Christmas was fun, the kids were all old enough to realise what it was about this year. Liam gave his binky (may-may) to Santa on Christmas Eve in return for a puppy. He did really well going to bed that night and only mentioned it a couple of times after that.



Ronan and Kian got a lot of similar toys this year. Kian was most excited about his PSP and transformer game.





Niamh got a lot of cool stuff but she loves her Pixos and High School Musical game for her DS.



On New Years Day we built an awesome snowman. It was so much fun to be outside as a family. The kids had a blast and enjoyed Mr. Snowman for a few months.



In the middle of January we were able to get out of town for a fun weekend at a friends cabin. We had so much fun playing in the snow, sledding, eating and hanging out. We survived 4 days in a cabin with 9 kids under the age of 8. It was an awesome weekend. Liam LOVED riding the snowmobile with his Daddy.



We are so lucky to have fabulous neighbours. April hosted a Valentine's party at her house and the kids had so much fun playing together and making sugar cookies and homemade lip balm.