Reverse Psychology???

So, all of you who know Kian, know how "opinionated" and "challenging" he can be at times.....lol. Well this past week I decided to try a different approach with him. Instead of reacting to his fits I decided to counter-act them with kindness.

My first opportunity came when I wouldn't let him have fruit snacks. Trivial I know, but not to Kian. He was throwing a really good fit and then decided to tell me that he hated me. That is usually how he gets me to react. He says "I hate you", I get mad and yell and then the fit starts. He knows exactly which buttons to push.
Well I was on the phone to my Mam so he kept walking by me and whispering (in a loud voice...lol) "I hate you!" Rather than getting mad at him I turned around and said "Kian, I love you!" He stopped, turned and looked at me and with huge eyes and a very shocked look on his face said "You do?" I told him of course I did and that he is my special boy. He came over, kissed me and said he loved me too. Guess what, that was the end of the fit, no more attitude or tantrums. Kian 0, Mam 1!

Well I was wondering if it was just a fluke so move on to yesterday. Kian and Ronan start fighting over a car. Kian is just about to throw a fit, I can feel it coming on! I said "Kian, come here a minute". Now just picture in your head, Kian with a mean grouchy face, stomping his way over to me ready to throw a fit and tell me all about Ro taking his car and how mean of a Mom I am. When he got to me I put my arm around him and told him how proud I was that I he was such a good boy to share with his brother and that I was very proud of him. I told him I was so glad that Heavenly Father sent him to be my big helper. Guess what, yep you guessed it, NO FIT!!! It worked, he was so pleased that I was proud of him that he forgot to throw a fit. So the score is now Kian 0, Mam 2.

It is amazing how much difference it makes to him to be told that he is a good boy and how proud I am of him. I feel like such a bad Mam for taking soooo long to figure this out! I am definately going to have to keep working on not yelling, somedays I am sure that my neighbours are going to call CPS on me, but at last I have found something that works. I'll keep you posted on how things go!